Travelin Monkey

The final hours approach for this wonderful encounter with myself and the land of the rising sun. I have spoke twice in the last 3 days. Once with the guy at the Imperial Palace who took my picture, and again when I checked out. Last night, I ended up at Ginzu, which turns out to be a shiek area of Tokyo with fashionable stores and resteraunts. Everyone was noticably well dressed, except for me of course. I actually found a place that had English subtitles. What would life be without subtitles or background music? BORING!!

I ate at the Ginzu Lion. I had a booth for 3 with a view fo the city all to myself. There was even a personal button to call the waiter over when I was ready. I walked around for a while and just thought about life, twists and turns, and listened to my music. There was nothing else to do. At one point, my feet began to hurt so much, I called it quits and went home to sleep.

Today, I awoke at 6 am and headed to Tsukiji fish market. I tell you my guides are great (intuition that is). I went to the back alleys and found the fish market for major companies, then the market for the consumers. I was amazed on how they just let me be and walk around, even at the loading docks. Soon, my time there was spent, more because of the pain of walking than anything else.

Back at Asakusa, I took the &*%) train to Daisu, a 100 yen store, which ended up being a waste of time because they only sold junk, not even the good type of junk that you could stick somewhere. Unfortunately, when I returned, it was time to check-out and head to Ueno. The station there is huge and I always get lost. I made it out to the streets, where I found a flea market, but they don’t sell trinckets or have tourist traps ANYWHERE!!! Did I do such a good job finding the REAL Tokyo? Where were the typical salesman trying to sell anything to me?

Hungry, I attempted to eat, but when you can’t read a menu, let alone annunciate something, there is nothing to eat. One place looked promising, with lots of pictures, what was the problem? NO WAITERS!! They have machines with the names of the dishes and prices, but the pictures on the wall outside!! Of course, no one spoke English. And the way the machines worked was you pressed a button, put in money, and gave that to the chef! I finally found a place with a picture so I could at least know what my food looked like when they called something out, and ended up eating Octopus tempura Udon. It was DELICIOUS (i would have eaten my shoe at that point!).

I found a bakery and loaded up on goods. From there, I decided to go to Narita early, mainly out of shear boredom and the pain of walking around. Here are some of the weekend funnies:

1. I hit 2 people, one with my unbrella, the other with my fist, trying to make hand gestures so people could understand me. They were accidents, of course!
2. A blue haired, probably 80+ year old lady grabbed my balls on the bus when exiting. After seeing all the poirn, I doubt it was an accident.
3. Some lady tried to get me to pay 300 yen (US$3) for shopping in her sex shop. At least, that’s what I thinks he asked money for. Did I turn down the world’s cheapest blowjob?
4. An old lady at the East Garden was amazed at my size and NY beanie and was very happy to meet someone from America.
5. When buying the digital camera, the guy told me I had a “rong rast name” and told me “your wercome” when done.
6. Even though they might be dressed as French maids on the street singing like idiots, they still don’t want the Gringo taking their pictures.
7. You don’t need to speak the language or remotely understand what is going on to laugh at the Japanese game shows.
8. Whoever brings the idea of soveneirs and cheap, at least DRAGONS or something, to Japan will make a killing with the tourists!!

Adventure completed… What country is next?

In Tokyo, it is 6:00 pm on 2/20/05, but I have no idea what day it is supposed to be for me! Today was, for lack of a better word, spectacular!! I awoke at 7 am to a magnificent sunrise over the river that runs next to my room. I quickly set off to make the most of the truely single full day I would have in Tokyo, and boy did I ever!

The one hour subway ride to Tokyo proper went smoother than expected, considering I had no idea how to get there when I left for the Asakusa station. All I had at hand was a Tokyo metro guide and a quick reference book on certain zones of Tokyo. I couldn’t have asked for a better morning when I exited Nijubashimae and headed towards the Imperial Estate. I quickly found the bridge to the main entrance, then slowly began making my way around the Estate to the East Gardens. The morning haze swimming through the Bonzai trees made the perfect clash with the monolith skyrises of Tokyo proper. The Edo-style architecture seemed to complement the morning weather, as if the place would soon be attacked.

I arrived at the 3rd Gate to the garden, and luckily, unlike the first two, this one was open! The garden was enormous, but unfortunately, there isn’t much to enjoy in the dead of winter! Today was 5 degrees celcius, a whopping 1 degree warmer than yesterday! At least it was a dry day

After strolling around the gardens, I made my way to the Science Museum. I had a lot of fun because 90% of it was interactive toys. Most of it was geared towards children, but at a level I thought advanced for the age group I came in contact with. Not surprising though.

There are, I think three different ways to travel around. One is the JR line, which is like the SF muni. Another is the subway line, similar to Washington D.C. subway system. The third is a system that sort of connects the first two. All trains have seats that warm your butt and lower back when you sit on them. All the lines differ on how they tell you which station is next. The only problematic one is the Keisei line, which tends to be important since that is the one that goes to Narita airport!!

After the museum, I heeded towards Shinjuku, also known as downtown Tokyo. My map here was completely useless. I was basically lost, trying to make sense of the entire place using buildings and signs as landmarks. Wow, do these people have the most slot machines I have EVER seen!! AND ARCADES!! One machine that we use to win stuffed animals had stewardess and french maid outfits up for grabs. I walked around, went into all these odd small shops, and some mall. They have amazing technology here.

In the US, I have seen 1.2 megapixel 3 CCD digital camcorders for $600. Here, they had 4.0 megapixel 3 CCD camcorders for $400. Our cell phones barely have 1 megapixel cameras, here they all come with 2.0 megapixels STANDARD!! Everyone is ALWAYS on the net with their phones, watching movies, even live stream chatting underground in the subway! Their flat screen TVs are out of this world, and the game consoles are ridiculous, including games that will probably not make it to the US for a while.

From Shinjuku, I went to the red light district called Kabukicho. They don’t have strip clubs, rather they have sex clubs. You walk into a room with pictures of all the ladies, what they do and how much they charge. From there, you head on to the hotel or mysterious stairs that I didn’t have the balls to climb.

The “DVD” stores all sell porn and only porn. They are usually 5 to 6 levels plus a basement. The 1st level has your typical porn, Cinemax style. The next level gets a tad more risque`. Once you start reaching the upper levels, that is where the trouble starts! Anemageddon (anema to the face), bestiality (red rockets to the mouth), pregnant women getting fisted, 100 females in a urinal, girls urinating, lactating, crapping in each other ’s mouths. Women with dicks getting ass rammed while they give blowjobs. You name it, it was there. They had used, stained knickers for US$35 and even kiddy-porn manga. These people have no limits and most of this stuff is disgusting.

But WOW, when I got to the basement! Anime manga, but they also had a section of 12-17 year old girls doing porn. Voyeurs at high schools & junior high’s, 15 year old girls playing twister in bikini’s, the most disgusting things in the world. I always thought bestiality and kiddie porn was illegal EVERYWHERE ON THE FACE OF THIS PLANET. Japan, you’ve proven me wrong!

After enough of this sight-seeing,? I decided it was time to venture to Akihabara, the electric city. Amazing. That is the MECCA of the latest electronics in the WORLD. Words can’t explain the things I saw, the beautiful, highly advanced gadgets. Naturally, I couldn’t resist, so I bought a digital camera for $189. It is pretty awesome, my first one too!

So, now I find myself resting a bit. In a while I will head out to Ginza for dinner and in hunt for some night life. Tomorrow, I plan on waking up early and heading to the fish market and hopefully a public bath. I’ll probably come back, check out, and spend ther restof the trip in Ueno before heading back home. One day I will return with more time and money. Hopefully by then I would have figured out this menu problem so I could EAT!

I now officially live outside of time. Here it is 8 pm on Saturday Feb 19, 2005, but truely it should be somewhere near midnight on the 18th. I went from Friday to Saturday without seeing the sun set or rise. I departed SFO at 11:30 am, and while on my 10 hour flight, I arrived at 3 pm on Saturday! Life has cheated me out of a Friday night, but the laws of life have taught me that you can not take and leave something out of balance!

I must say I was most confused when I landed. I had no idea where to go, so I followed the crowd. Somehow I managed to buy a train ticket and guessed as to which one to ride. I almost cracked up laughing on the train, watching 3 Japanese girls talking. They all seem to have gummy smiles and talk more with their teeth than their lips. I met some canadian people who were almost as lost as I was, except they had maps and drawings. I noticed that people are truely as small as I thought they would be, seeing that the station map was so oddly angled on the roof that I had to kneal down to read it.

I managed to guess right on my connection trains and actually FOUND my exit. Anyone who has been to Japan would understand the complexity of it all. All seemed well until I realized I had no map nor directions from the station. So what did I do? I walked.. and walked.. and walked…

Not that many people speak Engrish. THose who did I thanked and was received with a “your wercome,” which always brought a smile to my face.? I ended up walking through some back alley and found the hostel, Khaosan hostel, luckily of course. Maybe it is a good thing I have that extra iron at the tip of my nose guiding me.

After checking in, I did the only logical thing; went exploring a city I knew nothing about, without a map, in the rain, without an umbrella, in the dead of winter! Why did I choose to come to Tokyo for the weekend? ADVENTURE!

After buying an umbrella, a gay white one that I only see women using, I found some shrines and temples, along with long avenues of flee market.? I wanted to eat, but for the love of God, I couldn’t understand anything nor understand what the sign ‘red fish in yellow rice’ could be. (yes, the menu’s had one picture for everything, with different prices of course!)

So, I did what any tourists would do, I looked for a McDonalds! It is very true, it is a lot healthier in Tokyo and doesn’t leave you feeling disgusting. I searched for 2 things while out and about, a sex-store or a pub. I found neither, except for hundreds of arcades/casinos. The machines here would put vegas to shame, except they use small metal balls for currency?

I saw somewhere that had a beer sign, so I went in to bo shocked at the emptiness of the place. You know, me & the bartender. I think he was happy to know that there was life outside!! I asked what there was to do in Asakusa (the place where I was staying) at night, but he said “Asakusa day city.” Naturally, I asked “What is night city?” thinking that if he knew day, he would know the opposite!

NOPE!!

So, here I am. The Imperial Palace and Akihabara for tomorrow.. I like this hostel too, they are very friendly and have a lot of information and free internet!